June Movies
Dun, dun, dun, it’s time for summer movies! It’s so nice out now (well not right now, it’s like 50 degrees - what’s up with that?!) so why don’t we totally ignore the nice weather and go hang out in a theater instead? That’s what I’m going to do!
So full disclosure some movies, like Spy and Insidious Chapter 3, that I said were coming out last month are actually coming out this month so please accept my apologies. That said, I hope you aren’t using my lists to tell you what movies are coming out at what time. That’s why the internet was created - as far as I’m concerned, it is the main purpose of the internet.
To kick things off we have the Entourage movie - a movie I couldn’t pretend to care about. Sorry to start things out so negatively, but I mean come on. A movie? Really? We can’t get a second Firefly movie off the ground, but we can get an Entourage movie? Oh well, I guess we’re stuck with it. In this film I’m sure the most spoiled guy in the world and his buddies get to hang out with celebrities, pretend like the difficulties they face are more important than anything else going on in the world and get yelled at by Jeremy Piven. That last part was the only reason I watched the show in the first place when it first aired and that got boring pretty fast. Then I got bored. Then I stopped watching all together. For those who are fans, sorry for the rant. Maybe it got better and a movie is justified?
Then we have Jurassic World! This looks pretty awesome, just saying. Normally if a film has 4 screen writers it is not a good sign - too many cooks in the kitchen and all that. But if the trailers are any indication, this movie will be a lot of fun. This film takes place many years after the first disaster. If you recall, Jurassic Park was not open in the first film. The purpose of the first visit by doctors Grant, Sattle and Jeff Goldblum was to see if the park was ready for civilians to enter. Spoiler alert: It was not. Then we had two mediocre at best sequels that took place on the dinosaur breeding islands or something. Now we’re back to basics and we’ve got scientists messing with Dino DNA (if you said that in a silly southern accent, then you’ve seen the first film and are a friend of mine) and things go terribly wrong. You discover the park has been open for years and after all this time, public interest has declined so they must engineer a new thing to reignite that interest! Well that new thing is a monstrosity the likes of which only Chris Pratt can take on! And we are all better for it because he is just fantastic.
Then there’s a new Pixar movie coming out, which usually is huge news, but I feel people don’t know about this yet. At least I haven’t talked to anyone about it yet. It’s called Inside Out and it is about a young girl named Riley and her emotions. Sounds simple right? Well it isn’t, you see. We go inside the girl’s mind and are introduced to her characterized emotions. We have Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness. They operate within Headquarters and help Riley get through everyday life. When a move to a new city sends Riley in a tail spin of emotions, she starts to lose it. Joy, the main emotion, fights to keep things in order. Sounds like a metaphor for puberty, but I’m not sure Disney would go for that. I might get sued just for making that comparison…please don’t publish this. They are a powerful entity.
Infinitely Polar Bear is the name of a movie. In it Mark Ruffalo plays a manic depressive father who turns into a raging green polar bear when made angry. Ha, just kidding. He’s a manic depressive mess of a father who is trying to win back his wife and daughters. Not nearly as exciting as my proposed movie, but whatever, he’s a great actor. Zoe Saldana, another alum from the Marvel Cinematic University, (see Guardians of the Galaxy, seriously see it) plays the wife he must win back - and she’s always fantastic.
Manglehorn is a drama starring Al Pacino from the director of Pineapple Express, David Gordon Green, who was an aspiring indie director that has worked on various projects. In recent years, Green has gone back to the indie genre and distanced himself professionally from the indie-stoner-comedy genre he was made famous for with Pineapple Express and Your Highness. In this film Pacino plays an antisocial lock smith/recluse/cat lover. He meets a bank teller played by Holly Hunter and she develops an interest in him. Has all of the makings of an indie film.
Ted 2 was an inevitability after a lot of people went to go see a walking, talking, cursing, drinking, teddy bear hang out with man child Mark Wahlberg. I’m not sure who I’d want to hang out with more. So in this we have another ridiculous set of circumstances. It probably plays out like a live action R-rated Family Guy episode (not a complaint) that leads Ted to the court of law to prove that he is a person so that he and his wife can adopt a child. If you saw and liked the first one then I imagine you know what to expect from this high concept sequel.
Big Game is the film that finally shows us Samuel L. Jackson portraying the President of the United States. I feel like this is a long time coming. When Air Force One is shot down it is up to a young boy on a solo hunting trip in the woods with a bow and arrow to protect the POTUS from the assassins trying to kill him. If you’ve seen any action movie involving the President’s plane (Escape from New York, Air Force One) then you know he’s got his own escape pod and would survive a plane crash. If this is merely a competent action adventure I’m pretty sure I’m going to love this movie.
If the story of Batkid doesn’t put a smile on your face it is because you are an evil comic book villain. Batkid Begins: The Wish Heard Around the World is the true story of a 5 year old cancer patient who wished to be Batkid. His wish was heard and granted by the mayor, police force and many volunteers as the city of San Francisco erupted into a crime zone and Batman came to the rescue. Of course there was too much for one Batman to handle and he requested the help from Batkid for the day and he and Batman, with their Batmobile, saved the city. Seriously the story is just precious look up news articles on it.
