February movies

On Valentine’s Day most couples want comfort. It’s cold out and our wallets are still recovering from Christmas. We don’t want to risk a night out on the movies with something new and unfamiliar, do we? Well no worries, because this Valentine’s Day there will be 3 sequels and a spin off in theaters. Things get slightly unique afterwards.

Sequel 1: The Ring is a pretty freaky film about a cursed tape that you watch then 7 days later you die. There are holes in the plot but if 7 days later you are near a television, a ghost girl crawls out of the television and you die of…fear? Anyway, it’s scary stuff and the series came to a halt after a forgettable sequel. All these years later interest in in 'the tape' has risen and Rings has a new group watch the evil tape but one viewer discovers a film within the film! So yeah, it looks like along with the jump scares we’ll also have back story and twisty plotting. Hope you can keep up!

Sequel 2: I didn’t see or read Fifty Shades of Grey but I guess after whatever happens in the first one the, let’s call them ‘adventurous,’ couple stays together. In Fifty Shades Darker, Mr. Grey continues being his mysterious self and Don Johnson’s daughter is dealing with jealousy over his previous companions. I imagine it’s all issues that could be worked out if they talked to each other. I really should learn more about these movies before I write about them. I guess we’ll see how I do next year with Fifty Shades Freed. 

Sequel 3: Before making the instant action classic John Wick, Chad Stahelski worked as a stuntman and/or second unit director for movie franchises like the Matrix, James Bond, Rambo, Spider-Man, Iron Man, Wolverine, Die Hard, Sherlock, Hunger Games and Captain America. He knows action which helps make John Wick such a great movie and why I am extremely excited for John Wick: Chapter 2. In the first chapter Keanu Reeves plays John Wick, a retired hit man brought out of retirement by a sad twist of fate. John wanted a peaceful life and when some gang members interrupt it he puts all of his skills to use and makes them and everyone they associate with pay dearly. You don’t see a movie like this for the plot but the dialogue, cast and settings that are all very cool. Oh and the action, my goodness the action is awesome. Everyone who survived the first film is back for Chapter 2 and the action comes along with it. It seems his activities in the first film may have some consequences and that’s what he’ll be dealing with here, violently.

Spin-off: My favorite toys are LEGO’s. I still build them today. My dad had to buy a last minute gift for my mom close to Christmas and wanted to hide the gift by ordering another gift so he bought me The LEGO Batman Movie Batmobile. I’m the oldest of 3 and there’s a new grandson, but who did he buy a toy for? The guy that’s almost 30, that’s who! In The LEGO Movie, Will Arnett’s Batman steals the show - he’s a hilarious take on the brooding superhero and made for a great cocky side kick. After that movie was a hit everyone wanted more, but before we get a new LEGO Movie we get a LEGO Batman story! Alfred, Harley Quinn, Batgirl, Robin, Two-Face and The Joker all appear and are all voiced by awesome people. The plot deals with Batman facing many villains while also raising an adopted son. I figure this will be Robin, voiced by Michael Cera, so we have an Arrested Development reunion. Plus Harvey Dent/Two-Face is voiced by Billy Dee Williams, who played Dent in the Michael Keaton Batman! Now that is a nerdy callback!

Americans love big films and people from all over the world love big American films. China is a big importer of American films and the Chinese audience is the only reason we’re getting a sequel to Pacific Rim! The problem is a lot of the big movies are made for an American audience so it seems that The Great Wall may have originated as a way to create a sort of cultural bridge between America and China, but marketing says otherwise. The film is produced by Americans and Chinese, the writers are all American, the director is Chinese, the cast is 90% Chinese but the posters and ads say MATT DAMON. Because of this the film has been met with resentment even before people see it. The story has Damon as a mercenary who finds himself imprisoned in China and he discovers why the Great Wall was built: to keep out giant invading monsters. He and and a group of Chinese warriors are tasked with leading the fight when these monsters attack. It could be a big fun monster movie, it could also be a PR nightmare for Damon, we’ll see.

Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are a great duo. Just watch Keanu, Key and Peele or the first season of Fargo. They’re smart, funny and work very well together. Turns out they’re also pretty good on their own! Lately Key has been popping up in a lot of movies and he’s great, but Peele hasn’t been around as much. That’s because he’s written another movie and took a shot at directing for the first time. Now it’s not a comedy as many would suspect, it’s a horror movie called Get Out. Daniel Kaluuya and Allison Williams play a couple headed to Williams’ family estate. He’s never met her family before and he finds it strange that she hasn’t told her family that he’s African-American. Things start off all right when they arrive and he’s welcomed by her family but the longer he stays, the weirder things get. This looks to be a slow burn horror with twists throughout and probably a surprise ending. Being that he’s mostly a comedic writer, I’m very curious how he translates his skills to the horror genre.

Gore Verbinski directed three of the Pirates of the Caribbean and The Lone Ranger so I sometimes write him off as a big budget hack of a director. Then I remember he made The Ring, The Weatherman and Rango and realize that he can actually be a pretty good director and then I remember he directed The Mexican and Mousehunt and I don’t know what to think. His new film, A Cure for Wellness, is a smaller budget thriller that takes place at a “wellness center” where rich people go for stress relief. It’s a fancy set up for an asylum thriller, basically. Dane DeHaan plays a young employee for a big company and is tasked with visiting a wellness center in the Swiss Alps and retrieving the company’s CEO - I guess he’s been there a while and is needed back at his job. The plot is pretty vague on details but, like I said, this is an asylum thriller so there’s some dark stuff going on here and the treatments are probably pretty freaky, mental stuff. I always fear that these movies have the “it was all a dream” ending that I despise. If that’s the case then this will join Mousehunt as opposed to Rango (I really liked Rango).

I imagine that a real life Fist Fight between Ice Cube and Charlie Day would end very quickly, actually I don’t know that it would even start. I bet Day would hide and avoid the fight all together, but that wouldn’t be much of a plot would it? The whole reason for them fighting seems pretty thin but hopefully that just means it’s packed with jokes, hopefully. Day and Cube are both school teachers and when Day gets Cube fired he decides to challenge Day to a fight after school. Jillian Bell, Tracy Morgan and Christina Hendricks work their way into the plot as well. Cube has been perfecting this loud aggressive humor that be brought to the table in the 21 Jump Street movies, 20 years ago when he was in Friday it was a more laid back humor so this is kind of a new thing. Day has been riding the manic, possibly insane It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia wave that has brought him much success and popularity. The clashing of personalities is probably what will make this film work.

So, you’re all seeing John Wick 2 and Lego Batman right?