February movies

On Valentine’s Day most couples want comfort. It’s cold out and our wallets are still recovering from Christmas. We don’t want to risk a night out on the movies with something new and unfamiliar, do we? Well no worries, because this Valentine’s Day there will be 3 sequels and a spin off in theaters. Things get slightly unique afterwards.

Sequel 1: The Ring is a pretty freaky film about a cursed tape that you watch then 7 days later you die. There are holes in the plot but if 7 days later you are near a television, a ghost girl crawls out of the television and you die of…fear? Anyway, it’s scary stuff and the series came to a halt after a forgettable sequel. All these years later interest in in 'the tape' has risen and Rings has a new group watch the evil tape but one viewer discovers a film within the film! So yeah, it looks like along with the jump scares we’ll also have back story and twisty plotting. Hope you can keep up!

Sequel 2: I didn’t see or read Fifty Shades of Grey but I guess after whatever happens in the first one the, let’s call them ‘adventurous,’ couple stays together. In Fifty Shades Darker, Mr. Grey continues being his mysterious self and Don Johnson’s daughter is dealing with jealousy over his previous companions. I imagine it’s all issues that could be worked out if they talked to each other. I really should learn more about these movies before I write about them. I guess we’ll see how I do next year with Fifty Shades Freed. 

Sequel 3: Before making the instant action classic John Wick, Chad Stahelski worked as a stuntman and/or second unit director for movie franchises like the Matrix, James Bond, Rambo, Spider-Man, Iron Man, Wolverine, Die Hard, Sherlock, Hunger Games and Captain America. He knows action which helps make John Wick such a great movie and why I am extremely excited for John Wick: Chapter 2. In the first chapter Keanu Reeves plays John Wick, a retired hit man brought out of retirement by a sad twist of fate. John wanted a peaceful life and when some gang members interrupt it he puts all of his skills to use and makes them and everyone they associate with pay dearly. You don’t see a movie like this for the plot but the dialogue, cast and settings that are all very cool. Oh and the action, my goodness the action is awesome. Everyone who survived the first film is back for Chapter 2 and the action comes along with it. It seems his activities in the first film may have some consequences and that’s what he’ll be dealing with here, violently.

Spin-off: My favorite toys are LEGO’s. I still build them today. My dad had to buy a last minute gift for my mom close to Christmas and wanted to hide the gift by ordering another gift so he bought me The LEGO Batman Movie Batmobile. I’m the oldest of 3 and there’s a new grandson, but who did he buy a toy for? The guy that’s almost 30, that’s who! In The LEGO Movie, Will Arnett’s Batman steals the show - he’s a hilarious take on the brooding superhero and made for a great cocky side kick. After that movie was a hit everyone wanted more, but before we get a new LEGO Movie we get a LEGO Batman story! Alfred, Harley Quinn, Batgirl, Robin, Two-Face and The Joker all appear and are all voiced by awesome people. The plot deals with Batman facing many villains while also raising an adopted son. I figure this will be Robin, voiced by Michael Cera, so we have an Arrested Development reunion. Plus Harvey Dent/Two-Face is voiced by Billy Dee Williams, who played Dent in the Michael Keaton Batman! Now that is a nerdy callback!

Americans love big films and people from all over the world love big American films. China is a big importer of American films and the Chinese audience is the only reason we’re getting a sequel to Pacific Rim! The problem is a lot of the big movies are made for an American audience so it seems that The Great Wall may have originated as a way to create a sort of cultural bridge between America and China, but marketing says otherwise. The film is produced by Americans and Chinese, the writers are all American, the director is Chinese, the cast is 90% Chinese but the posters and ads say MATT DAMON. Because of this the film has been met with resentment even before people see it. The story has Damon as a mercenary who finds himself imprisoned in China and he discovers why the Great Wall was built: to keep out giant invading monsters. He and and a group of Chinese warriors are tasked with leading the fight when these monsters attack. It could be a big fun monster movie, it could also be a PR nightmare for Damon, we’ll see.

Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are a great duo. Just watch Keanu, Key and Peele or the first season of Fargo. They’re smart, funny and work very well together. Turns out they’re also pretty good on their own! Lately Key has been popping up in a lot of movies and he’s great, but Peele hasn’t been around as much. That’s because he’s written another movie and took a shot at directing for the first time. Now it’s not a comedy as many would suspect, it’s a horror movie called Get Out. Daniel Kaluuya and Allison Williams play a couple headed to Williams’ family estate. He’s never met her family before and he finds it strange that she hasn’t told her family that he’s African-American. Things start off all right when they arrive and he’s welcomed by her family but the longer he stays, the weirder things get. This looks to be a slow burn horror with twists throughout and probably a surprise ending. Being that he’s mostly a comedic writer, I’m very curious how he translates his skills to the horror genre.

Gore Verbinski directed three of the Pirates of the Caribbean and The Lone Ranger so I sometimes write him off as a big budget hack of a director. Then I remember he made The Ring, The Weatherman and Rango and realize that he can actually be a pretty good director and then I remember he directed The Mexican and Mousehunt and I don’t know what to think. His new film, A Cure for Wellness, is a smaller budget thriller that takes place at a “wellness center” where rich people go for stress relief. It’s a fancy set up for an asylum thriller, basically. Dane DeHaan plays a young employee for a big company and is tasked with visiting a wellness center in the Swiss Alps and retrieving the company’s CEO - I guess he’s been there a while and is needed back at his job. The plot is pretty vague on details but, like I said, this is an asylum thriller so there’s some dark stuff going on here and the treatments are probably pretty freaky, mental stuff. I always fear that these movies have the “it was all a dream” ending that I despise. If that’s the case then this will join Mousehunt as opposed to Rango (I really liked Rango).

I imagine that a real life Fist Fight between Ice Cube and Charlie Day would end very quickly, actually I don’t know that it would even start. I bet Day would hide and avoid the fight all together, but that wouldn’t be much of a plot would it? The whole reason for them fighting seems pretty thin but hopefully that just means it’s packed with jokes, hopefully. Day and Cube are both school teachers and when Day gets Cube fired he decides to challenge Day to a fight after school. Jillian Bell, Tracy Morgan and Christina Hendricks work their way into the plot as well. Cube has been perfecting this loud aggressive humor that be brought to the table in the 21 Jump Street movies, 20 years ago when he was in Friday it was a more laid back humor so this is kind of a new thing. Day has been riding the manic, possibly insane It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia wave that has brought him much success and popularity. The clashing of personalities is probably what will make this film work.

So, you’re all seeing John Wick 2 and Lego Batman right?

January movies

January has always been a wash for movies. It’s one of two ‘dumping grounds’ for studios, the other being September. If a studio didn’t know what to do with a film, they’d release it in January and hope they got something back. Recently though, studios have begun to realize that the month of January belongs to the action genre. Films like Taken 3, Ride Along, Contraband and The Book of Eli have all been January top earners in years past. Fortunately for action fans that trend continues with January 2017. But fear not non-action fans! January is also the time when all of those big Oscar hopefuls get wider releases so check your theaters, there’s some good stuff out there amongst the bad.

Out of all of the movies coming out in January, Jamie Foxx’s Sleepless will be one of the bigger hits. It’s a remake of a French thriller called Sleepless Night that’s touted as a Die Hard esque action thriller, but it’s not that at all. It’s a very tense film about a corrupt cop who steals from the wrong drug dealer and that drug dealer in return kidnaps the cop’s son and holds him for ransom at his popular nightclub. Save for the kid there really is no good guy and it makes for an interesting dynamic. There’s a lot of sneaking around and fist fights and the lead is wounded from nearly the beginning so he’s not really at the top of his game. This remake looks to keep most of those tropes with the addition of Michelle Monaghan as a cop who might be on to Foxx and what looks to be more of an action packed ending. I’m fine with these updates and I’m sure audiences will enjoy this.

I could’ve sworn that Underworld: Blood Wars was coming out last October but it turns out it’s coming out this January. If the creators of this film series knew what they were doing they could be making serviceable action-horror movies, but they don’t seem to get it so it looks as if we’re getting a 5^th helping of the same vampires v. werewolves story. If you want a GOOD film where vampires and werewolves don’t get along, go watch What We Do in the Shadows.

If you happen to see an advertisement for Monster Trucks and you are in bewilderment at what you’ve seen don’t worry, you’re not alone. The PRODUCERS, the people who put up the money, thought the same thing and tried to back out AFTER the movie was nearly completed. Such actions are usually taken before the cameras start rolling, not after. The release date was also pushed back about a year and a half and while that might not always be a bad thing (Cabin in the Woods), it usually means the film was a few steps away from being a Red Box release. In this case though, the film cost a whopping $125,000,000.00 so they had to at least TRY to get some money back from it. The film focuses on a kid who wants out of his town and sees his only shot at this is to become famous in the world of monster truck rallies because…well, I have no idea. So he builds himself a monster truck and then, through what I’m sure will be a series of bonkers events, unearths a blob/shark/octopus creature that also likes monster trucks. Yup. So that creature winds up taking over his vehicle and they go really fast and, more than likely, take on some sort of corporate villain. If you see this 125 million times in theaters then the movie is sure to be a hit financially.

With the huge popularity of the Fast and Furious series it’s a wonder Vin Diesel wanted to go back to his xXx series, especially since he was unceremoniously killed off-screen in the Ice Cube starring sequel. In xXx: Return of Xander Cage, we find that our extreme sports loving super-agent was merely left for dead, not fully dead. The first one had him go up against a team of anarchists who want to see the world burn and this looks to be more of the same, except they’re seriously upping the cast with people from all over the world. The core cast includes actors like Ruby Rose (Australia, will be in a few action sequels this year), Donnie Yen (China, stole a few scenes in Rogue One), Deepika Padukone (Denmark, one of India’s biggest stars), Tony Jaa (Thailand, popped up in the last FF film, should be more famous the dude is awesome) and Rory McCann (Scotland, The Hound from Game of Thrones which, apparently, not everyone watches). The FF series proved that big films can have a multi-ethnic cast and be successful. Even if this film is a mess (a mess that I intend to see the moment it hits theaters) I think it’s worth mentioning that they’re putting all of these actors on a bigger stage.

The Sixth Sense was a huge hit when it first came out and Unbreakable, I feel, is a great follow up that is truly worth a revisit. People seem to be spilt on Signs but I like it. That’s usually where a positive conversation about M. Night Shyamalan ends. After that came The Village, The Lady in the Water and The Happening, none of which were beloved by audiences or critics. Then he took some for-hire jobs like The Last Airbender and After Earth and that certainly didn’t win him any fans. So then he took a step back for a couple years, took some producing jobs, quietly made The Visit, which was a modest hit, and he’s quietly made another film called Split. James McAvoy plays a man with 24 different personalities who has kidnapped a group of girls who then try and reason with some of his personalities before the evil ones take over. It looks like an interesting, small-scale thriller which I feel Shyamalan excels at.

In the beginning (2002-03) there was Resident Evil and Underworld. One featured zombies, the other vampires and werewolves. Both had a female lead and wore its influences on its sleeves. Resident Evil was based on a video game series that was loaded with references to its source material but went in its own direction. Underworld was an aesthetically bleak Matrix rip-off that never found its footing. I feel I may be laying it on pretty thick that I enjoy the RE series a whole lot more and am looking forward to Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. Now if for one second you’re thinking, “well I guess this is the last one,” I can tell you that the words ‘The Final Chapter’ is the furthest thing from a guarantee that a series is over. Saw, Friday the 13^th and even Lake Placid (yeah it’s a Sci-Fi channel film series now) have used that subtitle and each of those series has continued. 

So that’s January. Do you think you’ll search out the possible Oscar winners or are you looking to shut your brain off as a way to ring in the New Year?

December movies

It’s home stretch for Oscar wannabes so even though it’s the holiday season there’s no shortage of heavy handed dramas coming out.  To balance that out there are a couple fun movies but most importantly there’s a new Star Wars movie coming out and I can’t hide my excitement for it. 

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone singing and dancing? Sounds like the plot for La La Land is a winner for lots of viewers. The two of them are a fun pair and a fun musical around this season makes for a good time at the movies. I like Gosling when he’s beating people up so I forget there was a long period of time when he was a heartthrob and this is the 3^rd collaboration with him and Stone. I predict this will get some sort of music related nomination. 

To win over a big client and save his company a man throws a massive Office Christmas Party. Now this sounds like the plot to a Nation Lampoon movie but it attracted the likes of Kate McKinnon, Jason Bateman, T.J. Miller, Jennifer Aniston and lots and lots of other funny people. These party movies are usually a good time as long as everyone on screen is game for it.

In the beginning of Star Wars: A New Hope the Rebel Alliance has in their possession the stolen plans to the Death Star. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story tells the tale of how those plans were stolen and who went on the mission. It looks to be more of an action film than your usual Star Wars fare and that’s partially because in the time that this film takes place people have forgotten about Jedi’s and The Force. This might be a departure from the typical Star Wars story but fear not because we still have droids and spaceships and lasers and all sorts of cool stuff going on. These movies are usually good for a special effects nomination.

Every time Will Smith does a heavy handed drama I say to myself, “it’s okay, this is just one more step to Bad Boys 3,” so once again I’m reassuring myself of that with the release of Collateral Beauty. Angry at the world and distancing himself from those that care about him Smith begins writing letters to Love, Time and Death. To his surprise Love, Time and Death pay him a visit in human form and try to make him understand the way of the world a bit better. As of today Bad Boys 3 is now titled Bad Boys for Life and is scheduled for a January 2018 release. I am counting the days. Perhaps this will get a best actor or a best supporting actor nomination.

I’m not sure how loyal Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is to its source material but I enjoyed it and the opening music number “So Long & Thanks for All the Fish” is very entertaining. So when I see that the director of that film, who wrote that song, has made an animated movie called Sing about animals putting on a musical competition I can’t help but be interested. Plus Matthew McConaughey plays a koala who sings “Call me Maybe” and I feel that alone will be worth the price of admission. This is a good bet for best animated film and maybe a music nomination.

When a malfunction occurs on a spaceship sailing through deep space two of the Passengers awake 90 years before they’re supposed to. Fortunately those passengers are two of the more likeable people around: Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt. The two of them hang out with the robot bartender and enjoy each other’s company before realizing that they might have been woken up early for a reason and have to figure out how to save the whole crew.  This looks like it might be a romantic charmer combined with a sci-fi story. Even after Castaway and Moon I’m still hesitant about these stranded movies so it might be a while before I see this. Since people love these actors maybe we’ll get an actress and actor nomination, people also love space movies so maybe a best picture could be thrown in there. 

I was excited for A Monster Calls, which is about a giant tree monster, until I learned the plot. It’s about a boy who begins talking with a monster, voiced my Liam Neeson, while his mother is sick and dying. That’s some heavy material there, can’t the kid just befriend a giant tree monster and have fun adventures? Maybe that’s the stuff January films are made of. There’s probably hope for a special effects nomination here. 

Now I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen the commercials for the video game Assassin’s Creed but in it you play a hooded assassin who sneaks around and dispatches enemies with a cool retractable knife. That’s pretty much what I thought it was all about, apparently there’s a lot more to it than that and the film delves into it. Michael Fassbender plays a man who is captured by an organization who need to unlock the memories of his ancestors with this fancy machine they got. To properly unlock said memories he has to play out the memories and become a 15^th century assassin during the Spanish Inquisition. It’s a pretty odd concept but it looks like it might make for a pretty cool movie.  

I like James Franco and Bryan Cranston but Why Him? just looks silly. Cranston is an uptight father who doesn’t approve of his daughter’s new boyfriend, a super rich relatively young eccentric goon. The more Franco tries to impress Cranston the more he pushes him away and I imagine the trailer doesn’t show all of the hijinks so hopefully there’s more fun to be had in this film than we’ve seen so far. 

Kylo Ren and Spiderman go in search or Qui-Gon Jin is NOT the plot to Silence. The actors that have portrayed those characters may appear in Martin Scorsese’s latest but in this one they’re all priests in the 17^th century. Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver travel to Japan, at a time when Christianity was forbidden, in search of their mentor Liam Neeson.  The journey ahead of them will be a hard one as they are trespassing and I’m sure with Scorsese behind the camera this will rack up some Oscars nominations.

Ben Affleck is not the same Ben Affleck that Ben Affleck used to be. He went from rising star, to big star, to joke, to forgotten about, to respected writer/director to respected writer/director/actor. His most recent writer/director/actor gig is Live by Night, a prohibition era gangster film. There’s no shortage of period piece gangster films and the recent ones, specifically the Johnny Depp starring ones, haven’t been great but this one looks good. His crime flick The Town was good so I have high hopes for this one. Affleck’s directing always gets some attention at the Oscars.

There’s always going to be at least 1 historical drama coming out around Oscar season and this year it’s Hidden Figures. So most of us know about NASA and the space missions but I for one have only recently heard about the female African-American mathematicians who were behind the scenes helping out with ground control. You don’t see any of that in Apollo 13, it’s just Ed Harris and Ron Howards weird brother. This film looks to right that wrong and give some credit to a piece of forgotten history. This might get some Oscar attention as two of the leads, Octavia Spencer and Taraji P. Henson, have a win and a nomination under their belt, respectively.

Gold is about Matthew McConaughey and a crew venturing into the Indonesian jungle to find gold. I knew that much about the plot but from the trailer it seems that this is 2 films in one. One film is about the adventure to find the gold, then the film takes a turn and becomes more of a drama/thriller about what happens when you have that much gold. It looks at times fun and at times serious but McConaughey rocks a wild hairdo and seems to be enjoying himself and everyone likes that right? 

Anyways, Happy Holidays folks! Enjoy the movies!